By Olaosebikan Olaniyi (LOAB 101)
As an on-air personality with years of experience in relationship matters and listening to couples share their struggles, I’ve come to realize that marriage is a partnership that thrives on understanding, patience, and empathy.
The metaphor of a wife seeing the number 6 while her husband sees 9 beautifully captures the idea of perspective in relationships.
Both are looking at the same figure but interpreting it differently based on their viewpoint. This simple analogy speaks volumes about the role of communication and mutual respect in marriage.
In many households, it’s traditionally believed that the husband, as the head of the family, should have the final say in decisions.
While this view is deeply rooted in cultural norms, it often becomes a source of tension when it’s not balanced by the husband’s sensitivity to his wife’s perspective. Husbands, influenced by their masculine nature and sense of responsibility, need to be careful not to slip into authoritarianism.
Leadership in a family should never equate to unilateral decision-making but should be rooted in careful listening, understanding, and collaboration with their partners.
When conflicts arise in a home, it’s easy for either spouse to become defensive, especially when pride or ego takes over, preventing compromise.
A wife may feel misunderstood when her concerns are dismissed, while a husband might feel disrespected if he believes his authority is being challenged.
But this is where the importance of a calm and measured response comes into play. For the sake of peace, a wife who chooses not to nag or attack but instead communicates her thoughts calmly creates a path for understanding.
During tense moments, the wife’s calmness can diffuse tension and create an atmosphere where both partners feel heard. It’s not about submission but about being strategic in how disagreements are managed, ensuring that conflict doesn’t escalate.
On the flip side, husbands must resist the urge to see themselves as the ultimate authority, simply because tradition dictates that they’re the head of the family.
Leadership in marriage isn’t about control; it’s about guiding with wisdom, humility, and love. A good leader listens—truly listens—before making any decisions.
Husbands must recognize that with authority comes the responsibility to make their wives feel valued and included in the decision-making process.
Men must avoid arrogance when disagreements arise. Too often, husbands, assert dominance, shut down conversations, or conclude matters without giving their wives’ perspectives due consideration.
This is particularly common among newly married couples in Nigeria and often leads to emotional distance, resentment, and the erosion of the partnership’s foundation.
Marriage, in essence, is a delicate balance between leadership and partnership. Both husband and wife must be willing to listen to each other’s points of view.
The goal isn’t about determining who is right or wrong; it’s about finding common ground that benefits both parties.
The wife’s calm explanation, combined with the husband’s willingness to listen and engage without arrogance, is key to resolving many conflicts that arise in marriage. In the end, seeing things from each other’s perspective can make all the difference.
True leadership in the home is about walking side by side, not one partner leading the other.
For a marriage to thrive, both husband and wife must work together, listen patiently, and communicate with kindness. This is the foundation of a strong and harmonious union.